Lisa Brookes Kift, MFTAuthenticity in your daily living is a sweet congruence of your beliefs, values and actions. Your inner world and outer world align and there is a synchronicity or balance between who you truly are as an individual and how you conduct yourself in your life. You are not bound by any narratives around how you “should” be but rather you live a reflection of you at your inner most core.
Ah, it sounds very peaceful doesn’t it? Why would we all not be living in a blissful state of authenticity where we could be free to be ourselves? Not everyone has the insight, awareness, tools and drive to seek an authentic life and there are good reasons for this. But it is an excellent goal to work towards.
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Consider the following signs of living authentically and honestly reflect upon whether they exist in your life. Maybe there are a few you can begin to integrate?
Authentic Life
- You know yourself deeply; your wounds, strengths, vulnerabilities and successes.
- You have worked through/are working through your baggage (family of origin work) to be as clear as possible about who you are.
- You take time to reflect and re-assess what’s important to you and realign if needed.
- You seek to connect with people who know themselves in a similar way.
- You strive to do work that resonates in some way, even if not possible for whatever reason
- You practice self-compassion, knowing that you make mistakes, others make mistakes and life can be hard.
- You spend at least some of your time with people who you resonate with, who also prioritize authenticity.
- You say “yes” and “no” when you mean it.
- You continue to make space for your evolution knowing that self-awareness is key.
- You speak your truth when important but not in a “brutally honest,” unkind way.
- You are accountable to yourself and others for your mistakes.
- You have addressed any shame in your life so it isn’t allowed to hold you hostage.
- You strive for an open and curious mind.
Living authentically is a very personal and unique experience. At the heart is honest reflection, fluidity and flexibility. Whatever this looks like for you will likely ebb and flow throughout your life.
Often what brings people to this concept is a profound sense that they are NOT living authentically. Perhaps you’re experiencing a growing discomfort around who you spend your time with, feeling generally stressed, fatigue around being someone you’re not, self-reflection around the choices you’re making as you age or other nibbling intuitions.
The first step is to get to know yourself on a deeper level. Once you have a better understanding of who you are you will be on a path towards learning how you want to be in this life. If you’re unsure how to go about this, seek a local therapist, other helping guide in your community or a trusted friend on a similar path.
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” – Joseph Campbell
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Have a related question? Get feedback and guidance from Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT via Ask Lisa Consultations available through her new on-platform chat service here on LoveAndLifeToolbox.com.
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